Fun with voice to text on the Droid X

My new Droid has a voice to text feature.  Handy I might add if 1. your thumbs are broken and typing with your forefinger is too labor intensive. 2.  You have no hands (no offense to hand less people, I would simply assume that pushing the little buttons or touch screen keys wouldn't be the easiest thing to do.) 3. I will not say driving because you should not be texting and driving.  See the Driving SMS Answering app.  4.  You have abnormally giant sized hands and it is impossible to press one key at a time.  5.  You have your hands covered in dirt from digging in the garden. 6. Your hands are covered in flour or other food product because your cooking breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks.  7. Your washing dishes, cleaning a baby bottom, changing the oil and for some reason, at that exact moment you absolutely have to text someone.  I know it doesn't solve the problem of selecting the recipient, yada, yada.

Anyway, this feature, while super cool and handy, is made for people with perfect dialect and perfectly enunciated words.  If you have a cold you might as well forget it.  If there is noise in the background forget it.  So in other words for this to work correctly, lock yourself in a closet and over enunciate.

I apparently do not have perfect dialect or enunciation.  At least according to to my Droid I don't.  Shortly after I purchased the phone, I tried to voice to text my very dear friend Angie of whom I love dearly.  While I love her to death, I avoid calling her on the phone.  We communicate via emails or Facebook but very rarely on the phone.  It's safer that way.  If for some reason one of us calls the other, we will be talking and laughing until we pee our pants for an average of 3.236 hours.  These phone calls are fantastic and brighten our day, but we still avoid them. 

Back to the text.  Angie and I were discussing via text, a time that the two of us could hit the town for a much needed girls night out.  I spoke to the phone as if I were speaking to someone on the phone and said, "Why don't I just come over and pick you up so we can go out."  I must not have enunciated very well because the resulting text was "I'm hopping to gfc gimme the cardinals of a chicken out."

Now my dear Angie is analyzing this text trying to figure out my super secret "code".  I on the other hand am laughing so hard I could barely breath.  I had to call her even though I couldn't speak, just to explain my abnormally weird text.  (Notice I said abnormally. If I'm texting Angie, my texts are bound to be weird, by normal standards, anyway) We laughed for a good 20+ minutes straight about that single text and then spoke on the phone for well over an hour.  Imagine that.

Other voice to texts...

Original "Apparently she is mad at him because he wouldn't let her eat her booger." (don't ask),
The result "Parently she's mad at him because when it later eat there is thunder."  Hum.

Original "I just wanted to say hi."
The result "San Judas wanted to say hi."

Original "Just clap your hands."
The result "Disculpa hands"

Angie suggested that in future voice to texts I should avoid words like fastergator or flow snob.  I replied (all via text) that I can't even say testosterone.  I will have to resort to saying small words or phrases like "Free Willy!" That one was correct.

If there are any phrases that you would like me to try, let me know.  It is too much fun to pass up but then I'm easily entertained.
4 Responses
  1. meemsnyc Says:

    LOL, that was a funny post! If only the voice to text actually worked!

  2. Erin Says:

    LMAO! I wonder what it would translate my Minnesota accent to :)

  3. angela Says:

    i think ruth should have told you that i wasnt laughing until i answered her call...and she was laughing so hard she couldnt talk...let alone breath...and that brought on a serious case of laughter from me too...then when i found out what she was trying to say to me...i laughed even harder! and ruth does not lie when she tells you we avoid talking on the phone for the simple fact it can take hours...we both love to talk...and i especially love to talk to my ruthie...:) i would bet i am in great company when i say that!

  4. Awww Ang that is so sweet of you, fart face.

    Erin, I can only imagine. I wonder if "eh" is in it's dictionary. lol :)

    Meems, if I need a dose of laughter it works just fine. I will have to keep working with it I suppose.

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